Separations in later life, often referred to as “gray divorces” or “silver splits,” have increased markedly over recent decades. Research has so far focused mainly on their downsides, including greater loneliness, higher levels of depressive symptoms, and increased stress. More recent studies, however, paint a more nuanced picture and suggest that separations in later life can also have positive consequences under certain conditions.
In some cases, a separation is even experienced as a relief, particularly when the partnership has been perceived as burdensome over a longer period of time. In addition to low relationship quality or conflicts, for example due to infidelity, the health of one partner can place considerable strain on the relationship. Mental health conditions such as depression, in particular, can strongly shape everyday life and place a lasting burden on a partnership.
In a recent study, DSS researcher Lisa Jessee, together with Jeffrey Stokes, examined whether depressive symptoms of a partner prior to separation are associated with changes in one’s own mental health after the separation. The analysis is based on more than 15 years of data from the US Health and Retirement Study (HRS). The researchers followed cohabiting couples before separation and at least one partner after the separation.
The results reveal clear differences. Individuals whose partner showed elevated depressive symptoms prior to the separation report, on average, fewer depressive symptoms after the separation than before. However, this relieving effect appears only among men. This suggests that men may be more strongly burdened when their female partners suffer from depressive symptoms than vice versa.
Overall, the study highlights the importance of considering the context prior to a separation in order to understand how individuals respond to it. Separations in later life are not inherently burdensome and, under certain conditions, may even open a pathway to improved well-being.